According to Sky News, Dr. Leakey of Cambridge University has “developed fart-free varieties to the relief of baked bean fans and their families everywhere”.

I had to chuckle at learning that the good doctor has created his own “fart-ometer” to measure the level of flatulence produced by these special beans. Sold in France as “haricots non-flatulent”… hilarious.

I should put my co-worker onto these.

apparently, my colleague and I weren’t the only ones aurally barated by the “walking fart”. just got an e-mail from another colleague wondering if it was her shoes on the linoleum floor or not.

[literally laughing at my desk now]

apparently there’s an art, to the “walking fart”.

the aforementioned [motions to the quote fingers] coworker never ceases to amaze my anonymous colleague and I. just when we thought our mutual friend couldn’t blow off her trouser trumpet in a better fashion, she goes and takes the biscuit [yes, the 'air' kind].

in walks [literally] the “walking fart”. allow me to describe this flatulent feat in more detail:

air escapes the buttocks at the same exact pace as the feet generally hitting the floor, ensuing in the great guffaw of butt noise on each step… [left foot (parp), right foot (phhrrrp) and so on...]

I often think to myself when she rattles off one of her thundercrackers if my giggling colleague and I are the only ones to hear them! we can’t be the only ones savvy to her antics, surely? I’m starting to think that one can’t help her downstairs behavior, which is sad. but the farting… totally hilarious.

yes, it happens - and more often than you think. nothing like one of your male coworkers to rattle off a good air biscuit in front of their other male office buddies during that spate of free time normally reserved for lunch.

[gasp]

but what happens to that naturally funny toilet humor when the office mate trouser trumpet turns out to be a woman? therein lies my problem.

1. do I say something to her?

[or]

2. say nothing, suffer the ass vibrations

a close coworker of mine [who shall remain nameless] and I have discussed the possible ramifications of bringing this issue to the attention of the said offender, and have lightly agreed to not say anything. we have also discussed the possibility that our mutual friend’s butt antics may be completely involuntary, making the opportunity for bringing it to her attention somewhat… delicate.

female or not, any kind of gas basket skirt boomers in the office should be outlawed - if only for the fact that I crack up in tears of laughter at that fateful sound.