I managed to secure a seat on the C train this morning - one of the two-seaters by the end of the train car, right by the sliding door at the very end. I’m minding my own business, well into The Bourne Identity, when my peripheral vision is shadowed by what I can only assume to be a large person. This “large person” (who shall be known from here on as fatty) proceeded to come over to the seat by me (bearing in mind these two-seaters are built for two “average sized” persons) and pulls a 180′, obviously gearing up for an ass plant on the seat. I’m not a large guy by any stretch of the imagination - I mean, I take up only half of the seat - and when I’m watching a movie on my iPod Touch I normally lean forward with my elbows resting on my knees for support, and maximum viewing.

Fatty sits down and managed to get just the edge of her large behind on the lip of the seat. Fatty looks over to me and looks away (I’m thinking, yeah - look all you fucking want bitch, I’m not closing my legs and squashing my balls for anyone). Fatty then opens up her newspaper, and tries to shuffle her huge buttocks back, like a dog wiping its ass on grass, but in reverse. I don’t budge.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not sat there with a twelve inch gap between my knees, but my legs are in line with my shoulders - a comfortable seating position.

Her vain effort to squeeze her at mounds firmly in the seat next to me warrants another look at me - this time I take out my right ear bud and look at her - fatty didn’t expect me to respond evidently, as she “hmph’d” and stood up, and took her fat arse to another empty seat.

Now I’m as liberal as the next guy, but seriously, if your arse isn’t of “average size”, have some fucking respect for those asses that are - ‘cos those are what the seats are designed for.