When my brother sees this he’s going to shit with glee.

Jamie and his magic fucking torch ruled when I was a kid.

Did you hear that? RULED!And here are the lyrics should you want to sing along:

Jamie! Jamie!
Jamie and the Magic Torch.
Down the helter skelter, faster and faster
towards Cuckoo Land.

Wordsworth! Wordsworth!
Following hard behind.
Ready for adventure, always there to lend a paw or hand!

Mr Boo and all the others too,
the strangest people you’ve ever seen.
And the torch with it’s magical beam -
If I hadn’t really been there
I’d think that I was dreaming!

Jamie! Jamie!
No two nights are the same.
And life is one long glorious game
with Jamie.
Jamie and the Magic Torch!

(I don’t remember the dog being called Wordsworth though - perculiar)

Took this whilst on vacation in Spring Lake, NJ. According to the sign, if you want your fish fresh, head on over to Mr. Shrimp on route 71 just north of Spring Lake. Nothing like a good old slapped haddock.

Well at least that’s what he’s claiming, and he’s requesting a full and public apology from the Feds.

Nineties movie star Seagal claims that due to a criminal investigation carried out by the FBI, his career took a nose dive to the “straight-to-dvd” world of bollocks.

Steven Seagal, whose action movies once were major box-office attractions, believes false allegations by FBI agents ruined his career, the Los Angeles Times reported on Friday.

The comments in the Times are the first Seagal has made publicly about an investigation begun some five years ago by the FBI into accusations he intimidated a reporter and had ties to organized crime.

The Times said Seagal is demanding an apology from the FBI.

I could be way off point here, but maybe agreeing to do a movie with Erika Eleniak helped him down the slippery slope.

Or maybe it’s just that he’s a bad actor?

Oh, wait a minute… of course, I was wrong all along.

aahh, takes me back.

Decide for yourself - real… or fake.Many around the internet are leaning toward a viral marketing ploy for an upcoming video game release - perhaps Halo 3 or Crysis.Whatever the reason, it looks bloody amazing!

Word to the wise: before you take that empty seat, check for the butt sweat streak.

I was standing (as per fucking usual) on the C this morning, and as the train was pulling into Broadway/Lafayette I noticed the lummox sat next to wherer I stood was shifting - an obvious indication that she was getting off at this stop. She stood, I made the quick judgment as to whether I could grab it before anyone else, and I realized that this day, the Britblogger would be seated for the next few stops to Times Square.

Then I spotted it.

Glistening like a bald man’s head in the summer sun… a 6 inch butt sweat streak.

I have no idea where she’d boarded the train, but her crack must have been sweating like a good ‘un for plenty of time for her shit stink to seep through her knickers (assuming she wasn’t going Commando) and her pants, and through to the plastic seat.

As any normal human being will undoubtedly know, any kind of sweat on a solid surface should dissipate over a brief period of time… I want you to know, this thing stayed there for 3 and a half subway stops - from Broadway/Lafayette to almost West 4th Street.

If you find yourself with the golden opportunity of grabbing an empty seat on the New York City subway, do yourself a favor and check for damp. Remember, that shit can’t be odorless.

[shudders]

Got an email from my mum in England earlier this afternoon, asking me if I knew what day it was today. I called her, confused… wedding anniversary? No, that was last week.

It turns out that it’s a year to the day that my grandmother passed away. Can’t believe it was a whole year ago - one of the most difficult times for our family, and I feel a little guilty for not remembering. Being over here in New York away from my closest family isn’t all what it’s cracked up to be sometimes. This is one of those times that “out of sight, out of mind” shouldn’t need apply.

I miss her.

Picture this: your bus stops at the corner of 164th Street and Hillside Avenue in Queens and an elderly lady carrying a walking cane slowly crawls aboard. Right next to the doors is a kid sitting in one of those priority seats, supposedly meant to assist the lesser-abled riders the chance to sit closer to the exit. The kid doesn’t stand up, leaving the elderly woman to stand there, god knows how painful it is for her to stand… what do you do? Lay into them with the closest thing at hand, of course.

That’s what Larry Woods the bus driver did, and now he’s facing jail time for assault.

A Queens bus driver smashed a passenger over the head with a phone when he refused to give up his handicap seat to an elderly woman, police said yesterday.

The bus driver, Larry Woods, 44, and the allegedly inconsiderate rider, Christian Custis, 22, were both arrested and charged with assault after a brawl erupted over the seat on the Q43 bus in Jamaica.

Police said the fight began when Woods asked Custis to give up his seat to the frail woman with a cane who boarded at Hillside Avenue and 164th Street at 11:16 a.m. Friday.

Things turned ugly when Custis, who is not disabled, refused to relinquish his spot, cops said.

Woods then clobbered Custis in the head with the bus’ onboard phone as stunned passengers looked on, police said.

The pair was taken to Mary Immaculate Hospital, where they were treated for minor injuries, before being hauled into the 103rd Precinct station house.

Custis and Woods were both arraigned in Queens Criminal Court yesterday on assault and harassment charges and released. Woods was also charged with one count of criminal possession of a weapon: the phone.

Custis’ older brother, Anthony, said his sibling was not normally hotheaded. “I don’t think he started the fight. It’s not in his nature to do so,” he said.

“Possession of a weapon!” - good grief. Look, I don’t condone acts of violence, but seriously, I think I would have done something myself… I see this happen on the C train all the time, and nobody says anything, except for me. I know, I’m probably going to get myself shot or stabbed one day for mouthing off to some respectless little prick with a blade.

These young twats nowadays have no class, and little respect for our elderly.

Whilst walking past the NewsCorp. building this morning on my way to get coffee I bumped into John Voigt. First thought that popped into my head: “fuck, he’s tall!”

Friendly guy - I said good morning, received an obligatory reciprocation to my pleasantry.

Thumbs up to Voigty.