I’m sat here in front of the telly, again, and being pleasantly entertained by TLC’s documentary entitled “World’s Tallest Man”. Decidedly enjoyable, and indeed educational, my joyous square-eye fest was instantaneously ass-fucked by the last ad segment. You know me and American ads - a paranoia-feeding pool of wankers that prey on the weak-willed.

[let me set the scene]

There’s a couple having dinner, and the woman’s narrative retorts into such inane drivel as, “I just can’t sit still”, and “my legs are itching to move”, and “I just feel I need to move my legs.” She then goes on to say, “my brother told me I have ‘Restless Leg Syndrome’, and it can be treated easily.”

I was then treated to a grainy showing of her sitting comfortably, thankful of the drug they’re peddling. At the end of the ad, I’m afforded the all too frequent www to visit to “learn more about my problem” - so I type into Firefox, www.restlessleg.com.

What do I find? A one-page site full of links to a whole host of “ailments”, from migraines to herniated discs.

Say it with me.. restless leg syndrome. Go on, entertain me. Restless… leg.. syndrome. What the fuck. Restless leg? Wouldn’t that constitute just being generally fucking tired? YES!

Wankers. Oh, and moronically stupendous.