It’s Labor Day here in the United States, and I should be pleased to get another day off work, but I’m far from elation. I just got off the phone with my dear Mother and caught up on life’s musings, and we spoke about my sweet Grandmother in length. I love talking about her, although even with a cheerful face I find it rather hard to fight back my teary eyes. As I sit here now typing away in my still-numbed daze over my family’s recent tragedy, it’s proving difficult to write with any conviction or fluidity.
I miss her.
There are days when I feel I’m hanging in there, being kept busy at the office without a second thought for anything other than making money (I feel ashamed for admitting that). Unfortunately there are days like today when I’m gripped by grief and a deep sense of loss. Should I be making a more concerted effort to remember her, to talk about her? I feel more often than not when I reflect upon what’s happened that that’s exactly what I should be doing - to connect in some way, to remember. Or is it simply that this is the way I am supposed to “handle it”.
One thing I am certain of is when I do remember her, I smile.
September 4th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
Don’t feel bad mate,mamma wouldn’t want us to be. life does go on,grieving isn’t especially good but it does make us remember lovely things,like smiles!!
Do what you do best Dave,work hard and make loads of wedge so you and Stacey can come home for New Years.
Your nephew is a little talker,just like his mummy.
We miss you and can’t wait to see you.
Oh by the waythe PC is up and running.motherboard went £280 quids worth but well worth it.
got V for Vendetta and Walk the Line to watch on DvD
September 4th, 2006 at 6:21 pm
Andrew is getting wise in his old age……it was comforting to talk to you today son,so lets make sure we do this more often….just talk and remember her with love and affection.
Love from your Dear Mother…..
who,by the way got great results from the Docs today…..
Well “Better than stable !! ” is what he said :)
September 6th, 2006 at 12:56 am
Sounds like things are starting to look up for all of you. That’s great to hear.
I think that grieving is necessary, but should not be a disturbance in your everyday life. I understand how you feel though BB. Losing loved ones is not an easy thing.
I am also in a similar situation as you once were… My grandfather (although MUCH closer) will likely not see Christmas. This makes my stomach violently churn, because I was to see him and my grandmother in September of 07…
Enough of my moaning and groaning :)
I hope things keep going your way Dave and family.
Take care of yourselves.
Mitch