I have absolutely no idea why this popped into my head just now, but I got thinking about this guy that used to walk (let me repeat that… WALK) up and down West 9th Street in Red Hook, the other side of the BQE, with a wheelchair… pushing it, not sat it in… but pushing it, like a stroller. Brooklyn’s weird enough, so I thought nothing of it… that was until I was home one weekend, it was the middle of Summer so the windows were open - and lo and behold, the local drunk was sat on our doorstep as usual and this guy came walking up West 9th with his wheelchair. He proceeded to try and “woo” this drunk bitch on my step by offering money for sex…

[clincher]

…he then went into his scam, in full detail, obviously in an attempt to impress his stale smelling female friend… he explained to her that he could earn $5 in 30 minutes by begging for spare change whilst sat in this wheelchair, panhandling on the corner of West 9th Street and Hamilton (the stretch of road that runs alongside, and underneath, the BQE). I actually saw him a couple of times reaching his hand out to unsuspecting drivers stopped at the red light on that corner.

So, if you see this fucking con artist on the streets of Red Hook, and he asks you for change, remember, he’s pulling off a very good impression of Eddie Murphy in Trading Places… he DOES have legs, and yes, they do fucking work.