I love Craigslist - and this ad by an angry Democrat had me laughing. Ah, the power of the Internet and free speech, delightful.

Look out for my own ad requesting the presence of the New Orleans cops that have been charged with battery, so I can smack ‘em around like a priest in a playground. Try taking your gun belt off next time, see how tough you are then, fuck stick.

There’s something mildly amusing about a tomato shaped like a pear… nay, what’s fundamentally rip roaring is seeing a vegetable in the shape of a vagina.

Visit the MoFA (Museum of Food Anomolies) to check out other freaky veggies.

If you’re a guy and suffer from flaccid man boobs, you’ll no doubt have gone through the rigmorole of going clothes shopping… it just doesn’t bode well. Nothing fits - if you don’t conform to the socially acceptable S, M or L, you’re shit out of luck.

Worry no more, my overweight beer swillers! There’s hope in the way of www.fatguyshirts.com. Their shirts, hoodies and various other fattire are not only geared to the fuller-figured, but their shirt designs are quite hilarious - such sharp quips as “Buffet Molester” and “Who Needs Women When I Have Boobs Like These?”.

Nice work Cesar and Matt - ya fat bastards!

Ever wondered what to do with your used train tickets? Sure, you could throw them in the trash as usual, toss them in the bottom of your bag…

…but what about turning your hand to creating Star Wars spacecraft from your old tickets?

Some French guy called Hubert de Lartigue posted his creation and moreover, full instructions including pictures of the various stages of creation at www.cfsl.net.

Hubert asks:

Have you ever fiddled around with an old metro ticket between two stops ? I did it for six months (in 2004, magical year) while wondering how I could give it a cool shape.

I have to admit, I remember fashioning tiny paper planes from bus tickets between stops - great way to pass the time on what would be a typically event free commute.

I wonder if I could turn my MTA card into the Eiffel Tower…

In a world rife with the “norm”, we are taken to a land of promise and satisfaction with the help of a true genius - genius that is unparalleled by anything we have ever experienced… finger breakdancing.

Finally, I will have something to call a true hobby - and before you know it, hoards of New Yorkers will turn up in droves on Broadway to witness what can only be touted as the next big thing.

Now, all I need to achieve such stardom is a bucket of the Colonel’s finger lickers every night, move back in with my folks, and film myself putting my fingers to such use other than whacking off to pictures of Jessica Simpson.

I’m sure you are aware of the recent news report pertaining to a terrorist threat, which is alleged to take place on the New York City subways. Mayor Mike Bloomberg and Commissioner Kelly spoke on national television on Friday in an effort to step up the public’s vigilance, and indeed to advise that the New York City emergency services were on high alert. Ok, so now we know that there’s a high risk of this happening, any chance you could be a little more specific?

Only until today did I browse upon some rather unnerving news regarding the aforementioned:

A Department of Homeland Security memo obtained by The Associated Press said the attack was reportedly scheduled to take place on or around Sunday, with terrorists using timed or remote-controlled explosives hidden in briefcases, suitcases or in or under strollers.

I can understand and certainly appreciate the fact of retaining some information out of the public eye, for reasons of panic, indeed. However, this latest news release may be of more use than the broader timescale previously released by the press - it allows us to at least make an “educated” choice about how we would like to travel tomorrow.

Admittedly, I am concerned for my own safety, and that of my fellow New Yorkers… but I won’t NOT be travelling on the subway tomorrow - that’s what terrorism is… to terrorize… come terrorize me.

And if it turns out that it doesn’t happen tomorrow, I’ll be on the C & E/Vs trains on Monday about 8am, holding a firm look of defiance and strumming my fingers to the 2nd verse of Coldplay’s “Speed of Sound”.

I’m not being oblivious, but living my life as I do every day in this great city.

I have a couple of comments to make on the latest ad campaings concerning John Corzine and Doug Forrester’s run for Governor:

1. why the hell are you running your ads on New York television? keep your inane drivel in your own state - I couldn’t give a crap about who’s running for the Jersey chair

2. stop throwing the exact same shit at each other… “Corzine voted against tax cuts 3 billion times…”, “Forrester voted against tax cuts a gazillion times…” - what are you telling me here? that you’re both as fucking useless as the other? seriously, what DO you have on your agenda? sounds like jack shit to me.

3. you know things are getting desperate when you have to try and shame your opponent - how about harping on about your own successes, instead of resorting to the negative regarding your opposite corner?

grow up, you pair of adolescent twats - and stop interrupting my telly with crap that doesn’t even concern me, ya bastards!

Who better to invent the very latest technology geared towards beer, but the Germans. Just when you thought you’d be living a life full of trips to the bar when your glass is empty, think again. Along comes a new contraption that senses the weight of your glass, and determining whether a refill is needed - automatically notifies the bartender! At last, I can keep my arse firmly planted and not have to worry about those long arduous walks to the bar (phew!).

(CNN) — Two German students have created a device that will stop beer lovers having to get out of their seats for a refill.The “smart” beer mat, created by Matthias Hahnen and Robert Doerr from Saarland University in Saarbruecken, southwest Germany, can sense when a glass is nearly empty, sending an alert to a central computer behind the bar so waiters know there are thirsty customers.

Thank you guys, a great way for the beer drinking populous to add to their already existing colossal waists sizes, foregoing the necessity to use their legs ever again.

Now, if we can only come up with a way to not have to walk to the bathroom…

one of the very first things I encountered after joining the “iPod fraternity” was that I could certainly upload any music to my liking, but there wasn’t a method of transfering my music back from iPod to computer. Of course, Apple didn’t want you taking your iPod to your friend’s house and have your buddy transfer all your tunes to their own iPod for free (depending indeed if you’d actually bought your music - DISCLAIMER: which we all should be doing).

Alas, what happens if through some disturbingly unfortunate event you lose all your music from your computer? The only storage of said tunes is laiden inside your iPod, and then by an equally disturbingly unfortunate event you lose your beloved “pod”, or you accidentally reformat it and lose everything?! you’re completely shafted.

My saving grace came in the form of i Lounge, where they cover “All things iPod.” They have a phenomenal selection of iPod utilities and tools for download (most of then free) and a superlative discussion forum which covers topics from iPods to accessories, and pretty much everything else you can possibly imagine. So, there I am a couple of weekends ago looking for a solution to my aforementioned dilemma. It didn’t take me long to find (in my opinion) THE best utility to render my fears, a mute point. They have a link to a site that has created a completely free utility called Senuti - “Everything in Reverse”. Senuti is of course “iTunes” spelled backwards… ingenius.

This amazing, and FREE (you can certainly donate to the author) utility does everything:

• it’s lightning fast
• allows a number of ways to search for songs
• transfers your exact playlists to your computer
• you can even have Senuti not only copy your music and playlists to your computer, but automatically tranfer them VERBATIM into iTunes
• it’s skinned to look like iTunes - so no ugly interface - it’s gorgeous

if you own an iPod (ANY model) go and download this potential lifesaver - always good to back up your iPod, should the hands of fate nudge you into oncoming traffic, resulting in certain sorrow and nights of sobbage.

I’ve been writing recently about Apple’s new iPod nano, and how so many have been incredibly disappointed with the product as a whole - front face and screen quality pertaining to its “scratchworthiness”, broken screens etcetera - and after a lengthy time researching and further homework into the nano, I decided to take another trip to the SoHo store and get one - yeah, I caught a sincere case of the fuck it bug.

Having been playing around with it for almost 12 hours now, I have to say it is THE most gorgeous piece of electronic hardware that I have laid my hands on (prior to that, it was the new G5 iMac earlier this year). I’d seen pictures of the nano online, but now I have one in my hands, I cannot believe how bloody tiny this thing truly is. IT… IS… SMALL! So small, that I handle it as if I would a new born child - without of course the floppy head.

I got the black model, instinctively I think to go with my PSP, but I guess I also wanted something different than the typical white that I see so often. I am a little miffed that the nano only has a USB slot, as uploading takes about twice as long as it did with my Mini and its firewire connection. Having said that though, I see why it comes with only USB - this thing is THIN! Too thin to have had a firewire slot, and the USB connector (that comes with the nano) is about as thick as the nano unit itself.

It is certainly delicate, having gently pressed on the front screen to test any “give” in that area, and there is some - so I need to be extra careful with that… remembering to take it out of my pocket when sitting. What I am pleased with is that the nano was built around flash memory, as opposed to a mini drive, as contained in the iPod and Mini (the Shuffle uses flash also). The music seems to start quicker upon pressing play, and I’m no aural expert, but the quality of the music seems to have a distinct improvement in clarity. I have a pair of Etymotic 6i Isolator Earphones (which are outstanding) and the bass response with the Mini was ’so so’, and I found myself switching the EQ to ‘loudness’ in an effort to produce even the slightest bass. But with the nano, and using the ‘loudness’ EQ setting, the bass is far richer - as rich as a dessert of triple chocolate pie with toffee syrup topping… followed by an encore of one of Steve’s Authentic Key Lime Pies.

I have noticed some miniscule scratching on the front, but nothing to be too alarmed about - only really seen when you hold it in such a way to the light, and look really hard.

I’m happy, I have made a good purchase (fingers crossed that I didn’t just frigging jinx myself), and if treated with care, I’m sure it will last me a long time.

Good job Stevo, the Mini was a pile of shat in comparison - battery life notwithstanding, comparatively speaking.