In a world rife with the “norm”, we are taken to a land of promise and satisfaction with the help of a true genius - genius that is unparalleled by anything we have ever experienced… finger breakdancing.

Finally, I will have something to call a true hobby - and before you know it, hoards of New Yorkers will turn up in droves on Broadway to witness what can only be touted as the next big thing.

Now, all I need to achieve such stardom is a bucket of the Colonel’s finger lickers every night, move back in with my folks, and film myself putting my fingers to such use other than whacking off to pictures of Jessica Simpson.