Many of you know that I moved to Fort Green a little over a month ago, and I’ve had an enjoyable time experiencing new bars, restaurants and the many new amenities on offer in my new neck of the Brooklyn woods.

Last night I was walking back from Prospect Heights and decided to stop on my way home at this very cute wine store, Olivino. Olivino is located on Fulton Street between Vanderbilt & Clinton Avenues and has an almost “wine cellar” feel to it, with the left and right-hand walls laden with a huge selection of wines from all over the world - a center aisle dons a similar style, again host to bottle upon bottles of loosely stacked wine.

Prices… very reasonable indeed - I ended up paying $16.99 for a great bottle of Pinot Noir.

The staff is minimal, one very friendly lady who’s always smiling, and indeed attentive - she also didn’t mind me taking a picture of her dog above…

[great segue]

Olivino is named after one of its residents, Olive, the Pug [pictured above]. I remember the first time I visited Olivino about 2 weeks ago, and glimpsed sight of Olive, not realizing she was a permanent fixture of the store. I overheard another patron talking to the owner about the pooch and swiftly determined that Olive was the reason behind the store’s name. Last night she came running at me from her starting point, which is a circular bed behind the counter at the back… like a raging bull, tail wagging, nose snorting, right at me! Olive’s a SUPER friendly dog, and makes a perfect talking point for the store.

If you’re ever in the vicinity, pay them a visit and pick up some grape juice… and give Olive a pet.

I woke up this morning to a gloriously sunny day. Up until about a month ago it was still in the 80’s and quite humid - not any more, out come the big woolen sweaters, gloves and long coats ‘cos it’s nippy out. It’s 1:00pm and the clocks went back an hour this morning at 2am - nice to have another hour in bed.

The sun’s shining and I’m sat indoors adding to my ramblings when clearly I should be out doing something productive. Cycling, for example - perfect weather for getting a few miles in over at Prospect Park. I did most of my laundry on Thursday night, but I could always throw my bed linens in for a round of suds… wouldn’t hurt.

[what to do, what to do]

Fuck it, I’m going to get some miles in on the old Cannondale - then I’ll call ‘C’ and see what time she’d like to hang out… she moved into a new apartment on Carlton on Friday, not sure of the cross street, but it’s about 12 blocks from me, closer to Flatbush Avenue - the irony.

Our favorite droopy-lipped action hero looks like he’s at it again. Sly has approached Millennium Films, Emmett/Furla Films and Equity Pictures and scraped together a budget of $50million to start work on his next gun-toting fiasco. An article at Snopes.com refers to a rumor that “Sylvester Stallone will once again portray John Rambo in Rambo IV, an upcoming film which will feature the hero tackling terrorists in Afghanistan and capturing Osama bin Laden.”

Movieweb.com reports:

In Rambo IV, John Rambo is living a quiet life as a recluse in the U.S. — until a young girl goes missing, and he returns to macho form and takes justice into his own hands. Plan is to shoot in Mexico and the U.S.

I myself am looking forward to another “war epic” to match the directorial prowess of Iron Eagle II and Strike Commando.I think Charles ‘Chappy’ Sinclair could kick John Rambo’s ass.

My brother blogged not so long ago about these two blonde shits from California, calling themselves “Prussian Blue” - I couldn’t resist but add my own 2¢.

These cute little blonde haired and blue eyed monsters are Lynx and Lamb Gaede, the latest addition to the “white power” movement in America. They’re twins, born on 30 June 1992… 13 years old and at the center of attention for organizations like National Vanguard, who made the following comment pertaining to the twins’ music video [mpeg 45mb]“Victory Day”:

Murrey [producer] lets the twins have some fun on camera, too, which adds to the poignancy of the song without at all taking away from the seriousness of the message. The girls’ baby sister Dresden appears, too — and emphasizes the sacred chain of our race’s life that all pro-White activists hold close to our hearts.

I wish I was making this shit up.A poem appears on the site of Jerry’s Prussian Blue Page [another "fan site"] that outright astonished me, entitled “Prophecy of the Flowers”. There’s a reference to the “n” word at the end of the poem, and another to the “Land of the Aryans”. If any of you know anything of the ancient Aryans, you’ll know that the Aryan sign of the sun and of health and of good fortune was the swastika. Let me type that word again for you… S W A S T I K A.

The National Vanguard site has a disclaimer in the footer which goes a little something like this:

We will rigorously defend our rights to freedom of speech, freedom of association, freedom of conscience, freedom of the press, and all other freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States. NV members in other countries will operate under the laws of their nations.

How on earth can they possibly get away with hanging this under the 1st Amendment in protecting with racist commentary?This is just the kind of shit I’ve been commenting on over the last couple of months, and these white supremacists are teaching their kids to sing about how whites should stand against “people of color”.

Makes my stomach turn. Most of this inane view is more than likely due to severe retardation, but I believe mostly born from fear… fear knowing that a life of once relying upon our non-white brethren being beaten down both socially and professionally, and that we now have to actually work for a living instead of sitting on our fat asses no longer cuts the mustard - the old “classist system” of “ethnic cultures” is finally being accepted at our water fountains, company outings and careers as CEOs - about bloody time.

I find racism abominable.

New York stinks, really, it reeks. Many smells emanate from it’s bowels, but until yesterday New Yorkers hadn’t experienced their city smelling of maple syrup.

An ABCnews.com report states:

Residents from the southern tip of Manhattan to the Upper West Side nearly 10 miles north called a city hot line to report a strong odor Thursday night that most compared to maple syrup, The New York Times reported Friday.

If you ask me, it’s a refreshing change from New York stinking of stale piss.

I never thought Scottie’s words would ring so true as they do today… “I think she’s gonna blow Cap’n!”.

Actor George Takei, best known as Mr. Sulu on the classic TV series Star Trek comes out of the closet in an interview with Frontiers. Takei comments:

“Brad’s my partner, we’ve been together for 18 years,” Takei tells Frontiers. “I’ve been “open”, but I have not talked to the press.”

The article continues:

Takei was attracted to boys from a young age, and quickly discerned that this wasn’t “normal”.

I wonder if Spock was aware of this whist they crawled through the ship’s conduits together late at night.Cream me up, Scottie

Yahoo News has announced that the University of Colorado has released findings based on their scientific study on the lesser harmful effects from THC (the active ingredient in marajuana) than that of nicotine, in catalyzing lung cancer.

Imagine if this study and indeed its findings cannot be refuted… cigarettes proven to be more harmful to our health than weed - such findings surely would bring about a more tolerant governmental outlook on the smoking of pot. For smoking this illicit shit now will land you behind bars holding your ankles most nights…

[shudders]

In England you can smoke the buddha in the privacy of your own home - Amsterdam, in cafe bars… come on U.S., light up a fatty!

Class action law suits are common in America - from Apple’s iPod battery life malarkey, to McDonalds and their food making people fat.

Let’s take a look at the latter…

There have been many law suits filed against the fast food giants: MacDonalds, Burger King, KFC and the likes… for example, in July 2002 some fat dude called Caesar Barbar filed suit against the aforementioned restaurants in complaint that their food caused him to become obese, develop diabetes and coronary heart disease amongst other detrimental health defects.

The 56-year-old Bronx resident claims he didn’t realize that fast food hamburgers were unhealthy, and blames four companies–McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Burger King - for selling fatty food and failing to warn consumers.

The case was subsequently thrown out as the judge deemed that his “weight” and “health problems” were his own responsibility - I should think so too - fucking free loaders. How can anyone think scoffing a big mac is as healthy as picking at a chicken salad? Morons.

This brings me to-date, and a CNN article on a new bill being passed by the House of Representatives that would block lawsuits by people who blame fast-food chains for their obesity… the “Cheeseburger Bill”. Yeah, that’s not a typo… cheeseburger bill.

I know what’s next… drunks suing bars for their beer guts.

Take responsibility for what you throw in your mouth, and stop blaming others for your waistline. Try a salad, and step away from the bag of lard.

Indiana Pacers guard Stephen Jackson is striking back at NBA officials after they placed a ban on wearing chains over clothing.

“I think it’s a racist statement because a lot of the guys who are wearing chains are my age and are black,” said Jackson, 27. “I wore all my jewelry today to let it be known that I’m upset with it.

Listen here Steve, it’s not racist, it’s called “wear appropriate dress as defined by your EMPLOYER”, dick head.

Get over your “racist” banter - by you simply saying “racism” begets racism. Twats like you keep racism rife. Get over your 200-year old broken record for fucks sake.

The Boston Herald is reporting that a local High School’s radio station faces the chop after 35 years as a network of Christian broadcasting stations seizes their frequency.

Maynard High School’s radio frequency, 91.7 FM, is being seized by a network of Christian broadcasting stations that the Federal Communications Commission has ruled is a better use of the public airwaves. “People are furious”, said faculty adviser Joe Magno.

Maynard High’s WAVM, which has been broadcasting from the school for 35 years, found itself in this David vs. Goliath battle when it applied to increase its transmitter signal from 10 to 250 watts. According to Magno, that “opens the floodgates for any other station to challenge the station’s license and take its frequency.”

I love the part that states that the “Federal Communications Commission has ruled is a better use of the public airwaves”… I guess “Kum ba yah” will be topping the charts next month.

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (Reuters) — Rock ‘n’ roll pioneer Fats Domino, who was missing for days after Hurricane Katrina, returned home on Saturday to load some of his muddied gold records into the trunk of a car.Sporting a white captain’s hat, gold chain and black galoshes, Domino had a laugh at tributes worried fans had spray-painted on his house after assuming he had died in the storm.

Fats returned to his house on Saturday to find damaged belongings - it’s reported however that his Taco Bell coupons were nowhere to be found.

Yes folks, Stallone is back! It’s official - “Rocky Balboa” will be the 6th movie in the Rocky series to hit the big screen. After years of trying to get another Rocky movie released, Sly Stallone has managed to get co-funding from MGM, Columbia Pictures and Revolution Studios, and will be distributed by Columbia Pictures.

CNN’s article goes on to say:

The latest version, which sources said is similar to the tone and grit of the first two movies, persuaded the studios to negotiate a deal.“In many ways, the screenplay really took me back to the original ‘Rocky,’ ” Revolution Studios founder Joe Roth said in a statement. “As a past champion, Rocky Balboa is once again a regular guy who has to find himself and deal with real life. This film brings Rocky’s story full circle.”

In the new installment, Rocky, lonely and retired in Philadelphia, comes out of retirement, intending to fight a few low-profile local fights. He’s approached to fight a match with reigning heavyweight champ Mason “The Line” Dixon, and soon his comeback ignites a media firestorm.

“‘Rocky Balboa’ is about everybody who feels they want to participate in the race of life, rather than be a bystander,” Stallone said in a statement. “You’re never too old to climb a mountain, if that’s your desire.”

I wonder who’ll be playing his opposite corner in this one… I’ve read stories that Dolph Lundgren was asked to play Ivan Drago again and even Vin Diesel has been in talks with Stallone’s people.

Adriaaaaaaaaaaaaan [bottom right lip drooping]

CNN have reported in an article today, that the government have created a new “U.S. Spy Service”, named the National Clandestine Service.

Acting on a recommendation from the commission that investigated intelligence failures before the Iraq war, the government announced Thursday the creation of the National Clandestine Service headed by an undercover CIA official.The new entity will oversee human intelligence operations conducted by the 15 U.S. agencies involved in spying, including the FBI and the Defense Intelligence Agency, a branch of the Pentagon.

There we have it folks, a government body created to make sure the other government bodies do their jobs effectively.

Typical american governmental approach - if it doesn’t work, plaster over it - it will look better for a while, then we’ll just plaster over it some more. Again, aesthetics, zero substance. A shake up of the CIA, FBI, Pentagon etc would have been far more welcomed in my opinion. Reappointment of top level officials, new doctrines drafted and executed.

Don’t be daft, that would take more money, and we’re broke - besides, we’d rather spend it on Iraq, no?

Intelligence Agencies. Still makes me laugh.

CNN announced today that Peter Mayhew of Chewbacca fame, will join 440 other people from 77 countries in becoming a naturalized American on Monday October 17th. Congrats Pete.

GGRGRGRGG GAGGGAGGRGRRRGRG GGGRRGRGRGGRGRRRRR!

The rain is still coming down on the City of New York, and that brings with it the onslaught of umbrellas.

The trusty umbrella, invented more than 4,000 years ago - we have seen evidence of umbrellas in the ancient art and artifacts of Egypt, Assyria, Greece, and China. These ancient umbrellas or parasols, were first designed to provide shade from the sun. The Chinese were the first to waterproof their umbrellas for use as rain protection. They waxed and lacquered their paper parasols in order to use them for rain.

And so it began, the umbrella revolution. The quintessential way of keeping cool, or staying dry. Which brings me to this fine City and its populous, continuously clambering over one another, vying for the quicker, the faster, the “more”. The crowded streets, the bustle of human traffic filling every square inch of the island that is Manhattan.

[add copious amounts of rain]

This is where the fun begins (in case you didn’t catch that, it’s called sarcasm). Imagine if you will, around 6-7 million people trying to get to their own individual destination… all at the same time. There’s not a lot of square footage left on the City sidewalks during rush hour commutes at the best of times. Now give each of those folk an umbrella. A typical umbrella probably measures about 2-2.5 feet in width. That’s about the width of 2 people (2 normal sized people) - let’s do the math…

6 million commuters

*

60% (let’s say 3/5 (or 60%) of those are underground, driving the streets, in cabs or riding buses)

=

2.4 million commuters on the sidwalks

*

2 (we’re giving everyone an umbrella, equal to doubling the volume as the typical width of an umbrella is twice the width of a person)

=

4.8 million

So you can see, it’s almost as if the City streets double in human traffic - or essentially, have about half as less space to move around in.

[along comes the problem]

With that many umbrellas being popped open in the City, it’s reducing sidewalk space. It’s umbrella war. I’m sure you’ve been smacked in the head, shoulder, arm, heck even the face, by some brollie-toting fucker more concerned with their own linear line-of-sight path than keeping their canopy from taking out your eye.

So without further ado, I would like to introduce you to the solution: Umbrelliquette.

Below is a list of preventative measures to take if you are the carrier of said rain shield, rendering you a decent citizen instead of a selfish twat:

• Keep the edge of the umbrella’s canopy slightly above eye level. If you can’t see beyond 2 feet in front of you, you won’t be able to see oncoming commuters
• If you see someone coming toward you, and they’re holding an umbrella, be the first to raise yours over theirs - clearing a path where your umbrellas pass with ease, preventing unecessary knockage
• If oncoming traffic is to the right, lean your brollie to the left - and vice versa should they be coming toward you on the left
• Never try and open your umbrella on the subway steps - you WILL take out eyes or remove layers of facial skin
• If you find yourself on the subway after coming from the rainy streets above, FOLD AWAY COMPLETELY your umbrella, don’t leave it half or fully open just because it’s wet and you don’t want to have wet hands… it’s water, you shit head - so unless you’re the Wicked Witch of the West, fold the bloody thing
• If your umbrella is one of those fucking ridiculously oversized golf numbers, leave it at home - buy a smaller one - or walk in the middle of the street - last time I looked, there isn’t a fucking golf course in Manhattan, obnoxious bastards
• When the rain subsides, and you close your brollie, please remember to carry your umbrella VERTICALLY, and not HORIZONTALLY as you’re going to stab someone in the balls, vagina, arse or a circus midget in the eye

By following those easy steps, we’ll all experience a much easier commute to work on an already shitty day in the rain. It’s gruelling enough most days to get to work without wanting to rip someone’s head off due to their lack of common courtesy.

Umbrelliquette - so there you have it.

One thing a non-American may notice about this country is that the art of conversation is not abound as one might think.

Take morning pleasantries for example. It goes a little something like this:

Person #1
“hey, how are you?”

Person #2
“good, how are you?”

Person #1
“good”

And there you have it - the extent of the morning “hellos” - thank god I haven’t succumb to this meaningless tattle in the a.m. as I sip my coffee…

I work with fucking morons.

We started a new group within our firm not so long ago, and I have no idea what our President was thinking… hang on, maybe I do… “hey, let’s go to Brooklyn Zoo and hire us some fucking monkeys to come and recruit for our new team”.

[clenches teeth... counts to ten]

fucking morons.

The rain always makes for fun times during morning rush hour commuting. Subway platforms are packed, the trains’ expediency is sporadic at best, and if you’re lucky enough to squeeze into one, you’re a fucking sardine. I am including the following example of complete moronic twattism into my list of “mood changers” in my “setting me up for the day” article - this is number 9 on my subway commute shit list.

[the set up]

So the C train this morning was extraordinarily slow to show at Clinton/Lafayette - on a good day the frequency of these steel behemoths is borderline slothesque. I board with my backpack (taking well-in-need-of-repair shoes to cobbler in the city), umbrella and man purse (also known as ‘murse’ to the metro crowd apparently) and slide into a space at the back of the subway car against the back door - nice, I can lean and not have to touch the sneeze-smeared hand rail today.

We go along for a couple of stops, and then this Asian girl decides to worm her way over in my direction. She proceeds to stand next to me, facing right (I’m facing front in the direction of the train) and holding onto one of those horizontal hand rails… and then it happens… she takes out her copy of the New Yorker, and releases her hand from her support bar. All’s fine and dandy until the train pulls into the next station and her body is thrown forward as the brakes are hit… bang, in she goes like a pro wrestler into the unsuspecting commuter in front of her, to which she proclaims, “Oh, sorry”, and returns her bony Asian hand back to the underutilized rail. The train sits in the station for long enough for the perpetrator to let go yet again and return to her New york rag.

[slow motion]

I watch her, almost knowing what’s coming next… call me David fucking Blane… “stand clear of the closing doors, please”… [pissshhhhhh]… train jerks forward with the release of the brakes and the driver throwing the switch into drive… einstein comes lurching like she’s coming at me with some new martial art move involving her skinny arse and pointy elbow.

Come on, for crying out loud! Is it that difficult for a human being to understand that when the train jerks either forward or back, you’re up for some movement in the opposite direction, guaranteed. And it’s not as if this is surprising to anyone, it happens every… bloody… time… it… pulls… into… and… out… of… the… station! Pisses me off when this select few feel it’s ok to bash and knock into me on the train. Why? Seriously, why? What am I, a fender? A fucking cushion?

Anyway, so without further ado, I deftly fashioned my chest into a medieval battering ram and pushed back… what? She got it coming.

[lesson]

Grow another hand, or put your bag on the floor and free up your other hand. Better still, hold onto the frigging rail - if the trains didn’t have ‘em you’d be pissed. You’re not a chuffing balancing act at the local Billy Shit’s Traveling Circus.

[felt good pushing back - think I'll make a habit of reciprocating future cuntish behavior like that]

Well it looks like I won’t be walking to work in fear of being ravaged by shards of white hot metal any more… CNN announced today that “information that led to heightened security for the New York City transit system was a hoax”.

A HOAX? Wait a sec, this was one of the most corroborated pieces of terrorist information that we’d ever had since 9/11, no? American Intelligence. Oxymoron of the fucking century.

So now that I had to spend my Friday morning commute with soiled trousers scared shitless about some explosive stroller being wheeled onto my subway car was in vain, I can feel much safer… NOT FRIGGING LIKELY! How can I possibly trust a source (our own Intelligence community) with this new news if their old news was completely fabricated, and indeed, without stringent corroboration?

Yay, you got us with that one! Thanks guys, you had me going for a second there :)

[douchebags]

In the lands of Middle Earth, legend tells of the dark lord Sauron and the ring that would give him the power to enslave the world. Lost for centuries, it has been sought by many, and has now fallen into the hands of the most unlikely person imaginable…

That of course comes from the fateful intro of one of the most amazing films ever made (in my humble opinion). The story of a strange little creature named Frodo who takes on the challenge to end all challenges - to carry the “one ring that rules them all” to the firy pit whence it came…

[tangent]

It’s almost Halloween and it’ll be time for Peeps - those sugar coated marshmallow little buggers that kids go nuts over.

[onward to the point of this topic]

*drum roll*… Middle Earth fans, lords and ladies, may I present, The Lord of the Peeps - Fellowship of the Peep. At last, someone with enough spare time on their hands to recreate a movie blockbuster using these fat-free denture destroyers! There are 9 chapters so far, all lovingly reproduced with colorful backdrops and costumes.