apparently there’s an art, to the “walking fart”.

the aforementioned [motions to the quote fingers] coworker never ceases to amaze my anonymous colleague and I. just when we thought our mutual friend couldn’t blow off her trouser trumpet in a better fashion, she goes and takes the biscuit [yes, the 'air' kind].

in walks [literally] the “walking fart”. allow me to describe this flatulent feat in more detail:

air escapes the buttocks at the same exact pace as the feet generally hitting the floor, ensuing in the great guffaw of butt noise on each step… [left foot (parp), right foot (phhrrrp) and so on...]

I often think to myself when she rattles off one of her thundercrackers if my giggling colleague and I are the only ones to hear them! we can’t be the only ones savvy to her antics, surely? I’m starting to think that one can’t help her downstairs behavior, which is sad. but the farting… totally hilarious.